Can one or all of you please tell the world via your FB that KLBJ blocked me from sending emails to them. I’ve sent a few emails their way, the last was to the Bob and Dudley show asking them to plug my autobiography on the air. The book is about my life as a non-member of KISS. I just tried to send them this and I got an automated response telling me, in essence, to fuck off:
Dear Dudley and Bob with Matt and Daniel and Chuy and friends and guests,
Hi, this is Seamus. I wrote y’all a letter about plugging my book on the band KISS (response pending). You may have heard of me. I’m Seamus-the guy that took all that VIAGRA then got hustled away from Kite Fest. You know? I was the guy that kept peeing on the door handles at the KLBJ station until Loris Lowe let me sing, “Seasons in the Sun” live on the air? I front a very popular Supertramp tribute band? Remember? I interviewed that Jon Brower Minnoch look alike on YouTube and the video went double viral?
At any rate, I wanted to comment on something one of you said this morning (4/17/18) about the minds of the people who attend Texas State University in San Marcos. One of you, I think it was Bob…it felt like Bob, said that Texas State students have minds full of mush. Or that they were mush minded or maybe something like they were all on mushrooms. I was driving at the time and got turned on by a motorcycle cop with large thighs. Consequently, I didn’t catch the whole insult as it was broadcast. I know this: one of you said something that involved mush and mental acumen and Texas State University.
I graduated from Texas State University. I also have a mind full of mush (probably from all the pills). Needless to say, I found your barbs about both Texas State University and mushy minds to be profoundly distressing. Why should I be made a figure of fun just because I chose to attend Texas State and eat all those pills? There’s nothing hilarious about bobcats or brain rot.
And what do you all know from anything? I can’t help it that I did those things. You need to think before you speak. Your words hurt me. They hurt so bad that I had to stop at a Stripes and have a scream. And then I had to show up for work all covered in tears and urination. I also got stung by something. Shame on you all.
In closing, I feel like you should give me an apology on air. Loading me up with some of that free radioland schwag might not hurt either. Do y’all have any Steely Dan koozies? I hear “they’re” coming to Austin soon. But half of the duo is dead, right? So it’s really just a Donald Fagan solo concert. Who’s he fooling? When you get him on your show be sure and tell him that he’s gotta’ wake up earlier than that to pull the wool over ol’ Seamus’s eyes.
ANY MAJOR DUDE MY ASS.
Thanks for your time-I will pray for you all.
Yours in Christ,
Seamus O Sparks